Friday, 25 February 2011

Facebook Copypasta

I was on facebook and I saw that someone had posted a copypasta status which said something along the lines of:

"Everybody post how we first met. But you MUST LIE. It can be as random as you want."

I took that as a challenge and came out with the following story:

A watermelon fell out of a hot air balloon. Shortly after reaching it's terminal velocity it landed on a lemon. Bits of watermelon and lemon juice flew through the air in all directions. At that exact moment a nearby scientist turned on his newest invention. It was a device that instantly transported all nearby organic matter to random points in time. A drip of lemon juice happened to materialize in front of my eye as I was walking down the street. Blinded by the juice I stumbled around and accidentally kicked over a bucket which proceeded to roll down a hill and smashed a greenhouse window. The owner of the greenhouse - an irate Frenchman by the name of Clint - came running over to me and demanded compensation. I was willing to pay him, however, when I pulled out my wallet a vulture swooped down out of the sky and snatched it out of my hands. Annoyed by this I gave chase. After months and months of following the evil vulture around the country in my monster truck and having many many adventures involving flamingos and tambourines I finally caught up with the bird in a busy shop. After beating the bastard senseless I retrived my wallet and instantly drove back to the Frenchman to pay him the money. When I arrived back at his house I learnt that he had died from a freak accident involving a screwdriver and a magnet. I vowed that I would donate the money I owed him to a charity. As I contemplated which charity to donate to I looked in my wallet and discovered that the vulture had stolen all of my money and credit cards. I screamed "REVENGE" and rushed back to my monster truck. As I reversed out of my parking space one of my tyres exploded. I quickly started changing it and was helped in the process by a baker who had just been shopping. He'd spent £53.75 on beetroot and planned on creating a beetroot themed amusement park. With his help the tyre finally got changed and I could continue my hunt for the vulture who had stolen my wallet. I started up my engine and it almost immediately died out. I had run out of petrol and had no money to fill it back up. Dismayed by this I vowed revenge on YOU! I traced back all of the events leading up to that moment back to the watermelon falling from the sky. The watermelon that YOU dropped! We haven't met yet but I just wanted to let you know that I am closing in on you!

1 comment:

  1. This sounds like something that my brother would come up with. XD